To Be Known
Does that sound a bit prententious?
I’ve had this post in mind for a while and that has pretty much been the title that felt right but I kept thinking that it was a little much, a little hoity toity. Like, “Oh yes of course you know Cohen, how couldn’t you”.
I don’t want it to be pretentious though (and maybe it wasn’t but saying it has made it).
It’s about going to your local coffee shop and saying good morning handing over your takeaway and not having to even ask cause they are already pouring the chocolate syrup for your usual hot chocolate;
It’s about enjoying your day at work and a colleague coming up saying that they’ve been working on finding a contact to help you out with your projects;
It’s about meeting someone at a party and they’ve already heard of you through friends or being told by another friend that you somehow came up in conversation with people they’d never met but everyone knew you. (Okay maybe it’s getting a bit pretentious now.)
It’s strange to be reminded that other people might be thinking about you when your not there but I guess we all do the same with others.
The artist for our book comes up when we talk about the project, many of my family, friends, and colleagues know a little about the other but have usually never met.
Our lives are made up of the people in it, and perhaps it’s selfish or conceited to think but there are probably some people who we remember and talk about more than others; because they interest us, because they are doing something unexpected, because they have a bird on their shoulder sometimes.
Coming back to Wellington, I’m noticing this more — maybe because I’m starting to go out of my way to be noticed and remembered.
It’s hard to sell a brand if no one knows who you are.
But actually, it’s really nice. These connections, however brief, however small, add something to your day.
I expect there will be some people who read this who may turn white at the thought of being known, who might change their entire routine the day the coffee shop knows their name; and I suppose I get that, we’re all different. But for me I think I’m fueled by it.
Take for example the coffee shop.
I’m not usually one for getting a hot drink every morning.
For starter’s I don’t (usually) drink coffee, and I don’t really need a daily hot chocolate. But I found myself living near a coffee shop offering an interesting proposition; unlimited coffee, tea, hot choccy for $70 a month.
Granted thats money that I may not have spent or maybe it’s money I would have spent on a morning pie a couple days a week. At any rate I figured I’d give it a go for a month.
And now for the last month most every weekday I’ve had to make sure I’m up early enough to get downstairs, get my drink, then walk to work. It’s routine enough that I have to get up so I can get my little morning treat, and my walk to work is usualy more relaxed and invigorating because I’m up earlier and have more time.
Within a week or so I knew the names of most of the staff (some of the irregular bunch took a little longer) and they also all knew me. We’d greet by name, check in about yesterday and today, maybe talk about what we’re up too. And the more time passes the more we go beyond the superficial. Now my mornings have a bright personal connection to kick off the day.
The last benefit another space outside of home I can sit with a drink and write. Where do you think I’m writing this?
It’s not only about the personal connections and little treats either.
All these people I meet, all these little conversations about my projects feed into my own thoughts.
The direction for our book projected has shifted, grown, redirected little by little as new thoughts and ideas feed in.
Sometimes more than usual, with some of these connection returning to me later to offer a small section of the map (or that they’re at least trying to find the map for me.)
Is being know scary?
A little bit, especially those times where you meet someone who you’ve never met and have no reason to think they’ve heard of you and yet they seem to know the whole story already.
It’s scary to think that an image of you is out there and you don’t really have control of it, that people might come to you with an entirely different impression. But theres not much to do except stay true to yourself and know what you want.
If I had a chance to change it, to somehow rewrite who I am to people and be unknown, I wouldn’t take it. It’s not just for the ‘business’ side of things. It’s certainly useful to be know to have others tell your story while you grow your brand.
But as I said I think I live for that feeling in a way, I think it changes the interaction too.
If we already knwo each other even only a little bit then we can skip the simple things and get straight to something more, something that can connect us.
“Even more simply, it’s a reminder that you’re seen.”
Even more simply it’s a reminder that you’re seen, and seen outside of the capacity of what you can do for others.
I suppose that might seem counterintuitive or hypocirtical, half the ways i’ve talked about being know are because it comes from what the other person can do for me, and maybe thats true, or maybe that’s just where it started.
In any case I am known, and that changes how I exist in this world.
I wonder how do you know me? Have we met? Or have you just heard of me? Have you told others of me? Have you ‘found’ me in unexpected places or conversation?
We’re a world of 7 billion people but sometimes it feels a lot smaller than that. Maybe you can find me at my local sipping on a hot chocolate, thinking on what to write next.
The writer sometimes known as
Cohen the Kiwi